TV Purchase From ‘Crazy Steve’ Proves More Crazy Than Expected
A portion of the sales contract signed by Mr. Brayden and retailer Steve Kerpinski
Texas carpenter Joshua Brayden now admits he regrets accepting the “Insane, Rock-Bottom Deal” on a 50in plasma TV from well-known electronics discounter ‘Crazy Steve’ Kerpinski, who was arrested Monday after forcing his way into Brayden’s Pearland home wearing only underwear and a 6′ MonsterCable 1000hd Ultra-High Speed HDMI Cable with gold-plated connectors and high density triple-layer shielding, which normally retails for over $129 but was being offered at the unhinged blowout price of $47.95.
“He broke into my place and smeared crap all over my sofa,” said Brayden, who has filed a temporary restraining order against the big-box retailer.
Attorneys for Kerpinski vigorously defended their client. “Every one of our advertisements clearly notifies our customers in 48pt sans-serif that Steve is CRAAZZZZY about low prices,” said Merle Lincoln of Lincoln & Brockner. “60% off on Monster Cables certainly qualifies as a
The original purchase of the 50in Pioneer Elite monitor– which has a retail price of $5000– was offered for just under $3200 on the condition that Kerpinski would be able to ‘lick Mr. Brayden’s armpits.”
“I thought it was just part of the act,” said Brayden, who has temporarily moved his 6- month- pregnant wife to her mother’s house pending the outcome of the situation.
Brayden began to have doubts when, just as he was signing the sales contract, Kerpinski dropped his pants and began masturbating.
Crazy Steve has been offering rock bottom deals on brand name electronics for the past six years, since
Kerpinski’s attorney’s have stated that they intend to counter sue Mr. Brayden for fraud.
“What kind of a man takes advantage of the reduced mental competency of a clearly unbalanced retailer? Does he think 35% off retail helps Steve get closer to recovery? And what about Steve’s accountant? Does Mr. Brayden know the stress all these low prices cause an otherwise fine CPA? Mr. Brayden got exactly what was promised. While most of the time this just means low, low prices, on occasion it will venture into coprophagia and torture killing. I believe the law calls that a promise kept.”
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May 5th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Dang, that’s funny.
June 9th, 2008 at 10:07 am
You’ve outdone yourself!