Point Five (Dialup)

Alas, dear readers! Yet another improbable set of circumstances has once again delayed my intrepid team from completing the Great Work of Satire.

Those of you who follow the intricacies of Imperial Intrigue through such publications as Royal Match and The Imperial Enquirer may already know that my use of the honorific “The Evil Emperor” is slightly… premature.

According to the laws of the Empire, before assuming the throne, any heir must, within ten years of the death of previous Emperor, either find True Love’s First Kiss, or spend a night with his team in a spooky abandoned castle.

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THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS

The Team, 1959:

I was twelve going on thirteen the first time I saw a dead human being.

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THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS

The Team, 1959:

I was twelve going on thirteen the first time I saw a dead human being.

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I am aware that last time out, I promised to tell how the team’s efforts on the Great Work of Satire had been interrupted yet again in “Episode 4- Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants,” but more urgent matters have come into play that have interrupted me from the interruption of my purpose.

I received an urgent communique from my old friend Pat Robertson, asking for the masterful talents of my Mindstation’s Eleven team in accomplishing what that insolent fool George W. Bush could not.

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EPISODE 3 - ALIENS 2

It is impossible to recount here all the events that had once again delayed us from our Great Work of Satire. Suffice to say, we found ourselves aboard the space tug Nostromo, on course back to Earth.

Sadly, we had lost one of the team on the way. Professor Stephen Hawking had been accidentally jettisoned from an airlock on the voyage out, in an incident which was in no way my fault, despite whatever might be said, written, or alleged in several lawsuits elsewhere.

The ship’s computer, whom we affectionately called “Mother”, awoke us from our suspended animation to investigate a strange distress signal coming from an uncharted, barren planet.

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