Hello, I'm world famous physicist Stephen Hawking.
If I sound a little weak today, its-because that ass hole, the Evil Emperor Mind-station, left me here to die. My batteries ran owt midway-through the first day, and I was stuck in the middle of freemont street for 48 hours, but I couldn't get any help from the drunken reprobates there, most of whom thought I was a wax figure or some kind of modern art. Yesterday I was picked up by a group of frat brothers, who have taken me to their house and covered me with christmas lights. I'm very hungry and very thirsty. If anyone can hear this, and you are a student at the University of Las Vegas, please help me. I believe I am at the Zayta Beta Tau house. I hope to get back to my regular schedule of posting again on monday, but this is contingent upon me surviving the weekend.